sad drugs

They had successfully reached the five day mark. Five days, no heroin. I would never have imagined that I'd see Cynthia's pupils at an average size. Today also marks the fifteen year anniversary of both my friendship with her, and Ben. Out of the fifteen, they suffered five painful years of harrowing addiction. Five cycles of adversity. In their eyes, Earth looked like a massive Syringe. A syringe revolving around a colossal spoon, passing by a vial, and then rotating 180 degrees to face a brick wall. A brick wall that indented patterns on their foreheads when their score was dry. This is how I can remember Ben and Cynthia. Today, for the first time in years, I saw Cynthia's beautiful face restored back to default. She told me about her painful week.

We had Spork install 6 locks on the door. He took our phones, our computers, shut off our power and threw us some books. Lovecraft, Crowley, and Barth. I read them multiple times, but can't remember any of it. The five days felt like five years. After pacing around constantly for the first half of the day, I laid in my bed. Ben was cutting up lines of valium. I told him I wanted to do it the natural way, old fashioned, cold-turkey. He cut the lines on a broken mirror, which when angled correctly, allowed me to see his pretty face. His face wasn't so pretty anymore. There were sores around his lip, gashes on his cheeks, and acne across his forehead. Suddenly, I felt the urge to vomit. So I lifted my hands towards my face and let go. It slid through my hand and the webbings of my fingers caught what they could. Soon enough, vomit would cover half of the entire room, including the bed, where Ben and I resided. Where Ben's Valium sat, perfectly cut up, perfectly drenched in my stomach lining and acid. It's weird when you puke up something you know is probably not the best thing to be coming out of your body. A Nectarine-ish layer covered Ben's hair, draping over his eyelashes, dropping from his upper lip, and ultimately the mirror harboring his drugs. Ben hit me. He hit me hard. It's okay though, I forgave him. I deserved it.